Managing Back-to-Schoool Anxiety for Parents and Teens

What is Back-to-School Anxiety?

Back-to-school anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, worry, or fear many experience before or during the start of a new school year. It can be triggered by a variety of things, such as fear of academic failure, social challenges, adjusting to new teachers or classmates, or simply the disruption of summer routines. For some teens, returning to school can feel overwhelming because of past experiences like bullying or learning difficulties.

This anxiety also frequently affects parents too. They often find themselves worrying about their child’s wellbeing, academic success, or social adjustment. It's important to note that anxiety can manifest in different ways for everyone. It can include trouble sleeping, irritability, loss of appetite, physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches, and even avoidance behaviors like skipping school or withdrawing socially. Recognizing these symptoms early is important so you can take steps to manage them effectively.

Understanding Why It Happens

Back-to-school anxiety often stems from a mix of anticipation and uncertainty. For teens, it might be the fear of the unknown. Having new teachers, new classmates, and academic demands might triggers a stress response. For parents, concerns often revolve around their child’s safety, social wellbeing, or academic success. Anxiety is a natural reaction when faced with change, especially when routines are disrupted after a long summer. Understanding that these feelings are normal can help normalize the experience and reduce shame, worry, or even dread.

Signs of Back-to-School Anxiety in Teens and Parents

• Difficulty sleeping or changes in appetite
  
  

• Increased irritability or mood swings
  
  

• Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical discomfort
  
  

• Avoidance of school-related activities, including reluctance to get out of bed on school mornings
  
  

• Trouble concentrating or feeling overwhelmed by homework and responsibilities
  
  

• Social withdrawal or anxiety about interacting with peers
  
  

• For parents: feeling stressed, worried, or experiencing increased tension at home related to school concerns
  
  

Practical Tips to Manage Back-to-School Anxiety

1. Establish a Consistent Routine

Start adjusting bedtimes, wake-up times, and AM/PM routines a couple of weeks before school begins to help reset your body clock. For example, set an alarm to wake up at the usual school time and gradually ease back into typical morning habits like getting dressed and having breakfast. Consider shifting meal times closer to the school schedule a week or two before classes start, so your teen isn’t unexpectedly hungry or irritable waiting for lunch or the end of the school day. These adjustments help both parents and teens settle into a predictable routine, reducing the uncertainty that comes with the new school year. Creating this familiar rhythm eases everyone into the upcoming changes and mentally prepares them for the transition.

Bonus tip: Encourage your teen to pack their backpack and lay out clothes the night before to reduce morning stress.

2. Encourage Open Communication

Create a safe space for your teen to share their feelings about school, teachers, friendships, and expectations. Let them know it's okay to talk about feelings of anxiety, worry or fears related to starting a new school year, and that these feelings are normal. Ask open-ended questions like: "Is there anything you're worried about?" Listen actively to their concerns and validate their feelings: "It's understandable to feel nervous about starting with new teachers." Help them reframe some of those thoughts, and foster excitement with questions like "What are you most excited about this year?" Encouraging this type of communication without judgement, and while validating their concerns, helps build a positive support system that is part of the foundation of their success.

3. Set Realistic Expectations

Help your teen set personal and achievable goals, both academically and socially. It’s important to avoid putting too much pressure on grades or performance and instead focus on effort, persistence, and progress. Encourage your teen to celebrate small wins—whether it’s completing homework on time or making new friends. Remind them that setbacks are a normal part of learning and don’t define their worth. Supporting a growth mindset by emphasizing that skills develop over time can boost their confidence and resilience.

4. Practice Relaxation Techniques Together

When anxiety runs high, short relaxation exercises can help both parents and teens manage stress and overwhelm. One of my favorite breathing techniques is the 4-7-8 method: inhale quietly through the nose for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds, then exhale slowly and fully through the mouth for 8 seconds. Practicing this during stressful moments like before school or after homework, can create a calming routine.

Other helpful relaxation methods include guided mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle physical activities like walking or stretching, all of which help soothe the nervous system and reduce anxiety.

5. Limit Stressful Stimuli

Today’s news and social media are often filled with negative and frightening headlines that can increase fear, stress, and anxiety. To help manage these feelings, try reducing your exposure to overwhelming or distressing content. Monitor and limit screen time, especially on social media, where negative news and peer comparisons can amplify anxiety. Instead, encourage consumption of positive, uplifting content or engage in family activities that foster connection and calm. Consider implementing a “digital detox” by turning off screens at least an hour before bedtime to improve sleep quality and overall well-being.

6. Promote Healthy Habits

Focus on the foundations of physical health to support both emotional and mental well-being. Encourage consistent sleep schedules, balanced nutrition, and regular physical activity. A good night’s sleep not only boosts mood but also sharpens cognitive function, while exercise releases endorphins that naturally reduce anxiety and stress.

Try planning meals or snacks together that include brain-boosting nutrients like fruits, nuts, and whole grains. Establishing these healthy habits helps set you and your teen up for success each day and keeps you within your window of tolerance for managing stress.

7. Seek Professional Support When Needed

If anxiety symptoms persist, worsen, or start interfering with daily life, don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for guidance and support. Therapy can offer both teens and parents personalized coping strategies and emotional tools to manage anxiety effectively. Early intervention often leads to better outcomes and a smoother transition through stressful times.

When to Know It’s More Than Typical Anxiety

While some nervousness about school is normal, it’s important to recognize when anxiety might require professional attention. Signs include:

• Severe mood changes or prolonged irritability
  
  

• Panic attacks or extreme fear around school
  
  

• Declining academic performance due to anxiety
  
  

• Social withdrawal or isolation lasting weeks
  
  

• Physical symptoms that don’t improve
  
  

• Difficulty with basic daily functioning
  
  

If you notice these signs, contacting a counselor or therapist can provide critical support.