Rethinking New Year's Resolutions

Why Traditional Resolutions Often Backfire

Classic New Year’s resolutions tend to be rigid, all-or-nothing, and outcome-focused:

• “I’ll never miss a workout.”

• “I’ll be more productive.”

• “I’ll stop feeling anxious.”

Many people attribute not meeting these goals as a motivation issue, or a personal failure, which can have a negative impact on self-esteem. The bigger issue is that these goals often ignore how mental health actually works. When we’re struggling emotionally or neurologically, willpower alone isn’t enough. All-or-nothing goals can quickly turn into shame cycles when life inevitably gets in the way.

When setting new goals, it's important to consider that resolutions can easily trigger perfectionism, reinforce self-criticism, and set unrealistic expectations for nervous systems that are already overwhelmed. 

A Gentler Alternative: Intentions Over Resolutions

Instead of asking yourself a question that sounds similar to “What should I fix about myself this year?” A more supportive, mental-health-focused question might be:
“What does my nervous system need more of this year?”

This type of goal tends to focus on direction rather than performance and outcomes They leave room for flexibility, setbacks, and growth without punishment.

Examples of mental-health-friendly intentions:

• “I want to practice responding to myself with more compassion.”
  
  

• “I want to build routines that support my energy, not drain it.”
  
  

• “I want to notice my emotions instead of immediately judging them.”
  
  

• “I want to work on healing, not hustling.”
  
  

These kinds of intentions honor where you are now rather than where you think you should be.

January Is a Transition Month

Culturally, January is framed as a starting line. Biologically and emotionally, it’s often a transition period. Shorter days, colder weather, sickness, disrupted routines, and post-holiday emotional letdown can all impact mood and motivation.

If January feels slow, foggy, or unproductive, that doesn’t mean you’re “doing the year wrong.” It may just mean your system is still recalibrating and could benefit from a general direction rather than an all-or-nothing goal.

Small Shifts That Actually Support Mental Health

If you’re wanting something concrete to focus on this month, consider starting small and internal rather than external:

• One check-in a day: Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”

• Reduce self-talk pressure: Notice when “shoulds” show up and gently question them.

• Build capacity before change: Rest, regulate, and stabilize before adding goals.

• Track patterns, not perfection: Awareness often leads to change more sustainably than force.
  
  

These are foundational and sustainable gentle shifts in your day to day life that will propel you towards the life you're envisioning. 

Moving Into the Year With Curiosity, Not Criticism

If there’s one thing to carry into this year, let it be curiosity over self-judgment. Healing and growth aren’t linear, and they don’t run on a January 1st deadline.

If you’re interested in exploring a more supportive, sustainable approach to your goals this year, therapy can help you understand yourself more deeply.